A Wink & a Smile

Here’s a baby bump shot taken today (14 weeks). Bear decided to make his cameo. I’m feeling great!

-Kristen

So far, so awesome with Kristen’s pregnancy. She’s had few symptoms other than tired-to-the-bone fatigue and back aches.

The baby? Poppy’s the picture of perfection. He’s/she’s right on track for growth, and at Wednesday’s appointment with Kristen’s OB, he/she was wriggling all over during the ultrasound. 

Poppy took a break from swimming just long enough to mug for the camera a bit, and here’s the result. Look close, and you can see what appears to be a pretty damn adorable nose and a little smirk. 

I’d post one of the 4D photos, but frankly, the baby looks like a pile of oatmeal in those. You know what, though? We’re madly in love with that little pile of oatmeal. 

-Dan

About a week after we heard one strong healthy heartbeat I started to show. Wouldn’t you know, the first day I had to wear my pants unbuttoned someone would pat my belly and ask if I was pregnant! I was in shock and my face turned beat red. “No, I’ve just gained some weight from working here,” I lied. Then told her it was her fault, jokingly, because she was holding a packet of cookies.  Later that day, I went back to tell her the truth because I felt bad about lying to her. Admittedly, they do eat all the time at my school and there are treats everywhere you look. Maybe people can start to see a little something there. I just can’t really suck it in any more!

-Kristen

Dear Friends:

To each of you out there, thank you. For every thought you spared us, for every prayer you whispered in the dark and in the stillness of your heart, for every hope you sent fluttering into the cosmos. Thank you.

Why? Because it worked. Kristen is pregnant! And we have the combination of your enthusiastic support, our fervent belief that it would happen and modern medicine to thank for it.

Words can’t describe how we feel. This is something we’ve wanted for so long that it hardly seems real. At the same time, all the months of appointments, injections and let-downs have already melted into distant memories. That part simply doesn’t matter anymore. Now, it’s all about creating the best future possible for this little person.

Or persons.

Since we conceived via IUI with Dan’s grade-A contribution and Kristen’s two mature follicles, there’s a decent chance of twins. We’ll know the answer to that little mystery in December.

We’ll continue to write throughout the pregnancy. We hope you’ll continue to read and comment, but most of all, we hope you’ll now send up prayers, thoughts, smoke signals, etc. for a healthy, full-term pregnancy for Kristen and our baby (or babies). 

Oh, one more thing: We’re not going to share potential names until he/she/they are born. It’s not that we don’t want you to know; it’s that it’s a lot harder to say “Meh, what a dumb name” when you’re looking the baby in its adorable face. Instead, we’re using a nickname for the duration of the pregnancy — Poppy. We decided on that because the embryo was the size of a poppy seed when Kristen passed the first pregnancy test with flying colors.

Thank you again for all your support through this process. This adventure is far from over, and we’re so lucky to have you all riding along with us.

- Kristen & Dan

P.S. - While we are telling some people about our good news, we’re not telling all of creation because Kristen is only about seven weeks along. We’ll open the flood gates once we’re out of the first trimester, but in the meantime, please don’t put anything about this up on Facebook or other public places just yet. Thanks!

I’ve become a human pin cushion. My neighbor/doctor (not my fertility doctor) came over a few nights to do a round of acupuncture. I had a total of 14 tiny needles stuck in me for about 30 minutes. That’s in addition to the dozens of times I’ve had to stick myself and have been stuck at the doctor’s office. The difference this time is after he put the needles in, I could close my eyes and relax. Fingers crossed it works!

-Kristen

This post is laden with TMI, but honestly, you shouldn’t be surprised by that at this point. Consider yourself warned. … Again. 

So you know from Kristen’s recent post that she went through IUI last month. The epilogue: Didn’t work. 

Despite a mature egg and 27 million sperm, something went awry. It happens. With each IUI cycle, there’s at best a 30 percent chance of conception. Were we shocked it didn’t work? No. Bummed? Yes. We’re used to failed attempts, but the frustration ratcheted up and left me really pissed off. With the extra step of IUI (plus all the injections and the acupuncture), it just felt like it should have worked, even though realistically I knew the odds still weren’t in our favor. I gave myself a day to be annoyed and then moved on. C’est la vie. 

Fast forward a bit to the second round. After the full gamut of injections, Kristen wound up with two mature follicles. Another point for Team Shuman there. All that was left was my my “contribution.” 

Now, that 27 million number from last month was pretty good. They say you want at least 10 million sperm for a viable IUI attempt. Nineteen to 20 million is what they’re really looking for, and they want at least 50 percent motility — meaning at least half of them should know how to swim properly. My crew hit 90 percent motility last month, so that adds up to a bit under 25 million little swimmers who made the varsity team. The doc was quite pleased. 

This month? Hall of Fame numbers. 

After the wash (the sperm have to be cleaned before IUI; introducing them unwashed into the uterus could cause a serious infection), we had 50 million ready to race. Yep. 50,000,000. Plus, they boasted a 95 percent motility rate, putting about 47.5 million contenders in the running. To borrow a friend’s line from an entirely different situation, “Every sentence I can think of to describe that begins and ends with ‘Booya.’” This time, the doctor, who has been doing this quite a while, was flat-out impressed. I’m waiting to hear whether I get my name on a plaque or some kind of medal. This kind of feat shouldn’t go unheralded, right? 

See, a lot of things about infertility beat you down. First, there’s the part where you can’t get your wife pregnant. Then there’s month after endless month filled with trips to the doctor, needles, prescriptions and assorted medical miscellany. Your wife is bruised from all the injections and frustrated at having to try so hard for something that’s supposed to come naturally. And still, nothing. That room at the end of the hall sits just as lifeless as it did three and a half years ago.

But every once in a while, you get a win — something you can claim and say, “Hey, we kick ass at that!” For Kristen, it’s the fact that she makes a boat load of eggs and has, as the doctor’s always say, “a beautiful uterus.” For me, it’s that I can crank out enough gametes to topple a small country. Go Team Shuman.

Booya. 

- Dan

A few weeks ago during mass, I was moved by this verse from Matthew 18:19, “Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven.” I approached my priest after the service to speak with him about our infertility and how for more than three years at least two people have been praying for us to have a baby. His advice to me, after he gave me a big Polish bear hug, was to continue to pray and be specific in our prayers. So, here is something we’ve been including in our prayers:

Dear Lord,
Continue to give us the strength to get through the struggles of infertility.

There’s also:

Please let all this effort result in a happy, healthy baby this month.

Clearly, it hasn’t worked yet, but that’s OK. We don’t resent that things haven’t happened on our schedule; we’re under no illusion that this thing is entirely under our control.

We know some of you out there are praying for us. If you don’t mind, we’d love it if you’d post in the comments what you’re praying for.

Thanks!
-Kristen

Warning! This might be too much information for some:  When I walked into the office today I noticed there were two other couples in the waiting room. After checking in at the front desk I was told to go upstairs to the second floor. I thought my IUI would take place upstairs because that’s where I had my hysteroscopy. So, I rode the elevator upstairs and walked to the location I was told. A woman in a lab coat greeted me at the door and asked my name. She then handed me a test tube with Dan and my name on it. It took me a second to realize what I was holding. I signed the necessary paper and the woman and I stared at one another. It was clear I wasn’t having my IUI in the laboratory we were standing in. She then told me to go back downstairs and wait in the waiting room for the nurse to call my name. I asked her what I’m supposed to do with the “sample” in my hand. Without missing a beat she said, “you need to keep it warm in your hand until they call you back”. Which I responded, “What! I’m supposed to hold this in my hand in the waiting room!” She smiled and closed the door behind me. Walking down the hallway back to the elevator I started giggling. I couldn’t believe I was about to walk into the waiting room with my husband’s sperm in my hand knowing I wouldn’t be sitting there alone! Before I turned the corner to the elevator I stuck the tube in my bra knowing that it would stay warm next to my skin. When the nurse called me back to the exam room I quickly handed her the tube because I had terrible visions that it would fall out of my shirt and smash onto the floor. Today’s IUI (a.k.a. turkey-baster) went smoothly.

-Kristen

This month’s cycle was full of injections. I gave myself seven days worth of injections. I’ve started to bruise around my belly button from the shot sites, which makes my stomach sore. Last Sunday I also tried acupuncture with 14 very thin needles. I had a needle in each of my ears, one in the top of my head, seven around my belly button, one in each wrist, and one in each of my ankles. It didn’t hurt one bit although it was a little awkward; my doctor said I looked stiff with the needles in me. I’m going to try it again Sunday. Hopefully I’ll relax more now that I know what to expect.

At our appointment Saturday I was told to give myself my final injection at 11:30 pm. It’s the biggest one this month. I set an alarm just in case I fall asleep! All these needles are preparing my body for when I go in for the IUI (a.k.a. the turkey-baster). I sure hope after that procedure I’ll be done with injections and needles! 

-Kristen

Oops. It’s been, er, quite a while since we updated you all. That’s mainly because there’s been little to report. After Kristen’s body declared marshal law and commandeered her ovaries, we took a little time to let things settle back to normal. We’d planned to start IUI (a.k.a., the turkey-baster technique) in August, but we scuppered that idea when we realized that doing so would have required that we essentially cut-short our little trip to a winery in Williamsburg. Enjoy a quiet, wine-filled weekend, or go sit in a doctor’s office. … Tough call, eh?  

So, here we are, having not really stepped foot in the world of assisted reproduction since July. And that’s okay. Between things ramping up at my office and Kristen starting a new job at a new school this year, the break has been a welcome one. That’s not to say our goal isn’t firmly in mind. We’ll be back on the wagon soon, but in the mean time, we’re simply enjoying ourselves. -Dan