A Wink & a Smile |
We're Kristen and Dan, two all-American kids just trying to make it in the crazy world. And by make it, we mean make a kid -- something we've had trouble with since 2008. We'll talk about what we're dealing with when it comes to this whole infertility thing, from the medical procedures to how it affects us as a couple to the ridiculous hurdles of insurance. Follow along. It'll be fun. |
This post is laden with TMI, but honestly, you shouldn’t be surprised by that at this point. Consider yourself warned. … Again.
So you know from Kristen’s recent post that she went through IUI last month. The epilogue: Didn’t work.
Despite a mature egg and 27 million sperm, something went awry. It happens. With each IUI cycle, there’s at best a 30 percent chance of conception. Were we shocked it didn’t work? No. Bummed? Yes. We’re used to failed attempts, but the frustration ratcheted up and left me really pissed off. With the extra step of IUI (plus all the injections and the acupuncture), it just felt like it should have worked, even though realistically I knew the odds still weren’t in our favor. I gave myself a day to be annoyed and then moved on. C’est la vie.
Fast forward a bit to the second round. After the full gamut of injections, Kristen wound up with two mature follicles. Another point for Team Shuman there. All that was left was my my “contribution.”
Now, that 27 million number from last month was pretty good. They say you want at least 10 million sperm for a viable IUI attempt. Nineteen to 20 million is what they’re really looking for, and they want at least 50 percent motility — meaning at least half of them should know how to swim properly. My crew hit 90 percent motility last month, so that adds up to a bit under 25 million little swimmers who made the varsity team. The doc was quite pleased.
This month? Hall of Fame numbers.
After the wash (the sperm have to be cleaned before IUI; introducing them unwashed into the uterus could cause a serious infection), we had 50 million ready to race. Yep. 50,000,000. Plus, they boasted a 95 percent motility rate, putting about 47.5 million contenders in the running. To borrow a friend’s line from an entirely different situation, “Every sentence I can think of to describe that begins and ends with ‘Booya.’” This time, the doctor, who has been doing this quite a while, was flat-out impressed. I’m waiting to hear whether I get my name on a plaque or some kind of medal. This kind of feat shouldn’t go unheralded, right?
See, a lot of things about infertility beat you down. First, there’s the part where you can’t get your wife pregnant. Then there’s month after endless month filled with trips to the doctor, needles, prescriptions and assorted medical miscellany. Your wife is bruised from all the injections and frustrated at having to try so hard for something that’s supposed to come naturally. And still, nothing. That room at the end of the hall sits just as lifeless as it did three and a half years ago.
But every once in a while, you get a win — something you can claim and say, “Hey, we kick ass at that!” For Kristen, it’s the fact that she makes a boat load of eggs and has, as the doctor’s always say, “a beautiful uterus.” For me, it’s that I can crank out enough gametes to topple a small country. Go Team Shuman.
Booya.
- Dan
